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shiver

fear of this
being our last tralala la lah

the madman’s finger twitches
already restless
shadowing the button

i’m trying to enfold all those I love
into the binary slipstream but

my heart is racing
time

the rats & dreamers have nowhere to go

&why are we not angrier?
why are we not
something?

&
my heart is slowing
time

identifying masks

pushing away almost everyone I care for

or letting them be impaled upon the spines

trapping all the dreams inside with my hands around their swallow throats
suffocating tight

:

also forms of security through obscurity

pre

Christmas crowds converging in a sea of careless whispers

no wonder I’m going mad

a dance like everyone is watching

too many embroidered words torn from the tapestry and stitched over till no sense is left to be made of a meaning and dave gahan tells me I should enjoy the silence —

these are the ways I communicate these days

concertina revelations and unstable magnetism —

these are the ways I protect myself

and even as the world crumbles beneath the blackhole mass of human madness

i don’t ever tell you I’m afraid; and yet the whole time

i can’t stop thinking about time like it’s a spiral and

i can’t stop seeing it all snatched away and

i can’t stop making these dreams and actually

i haven’t stopped thinking about san junipero

torn between a trust in tomorrow

and no tomorrow

oboeru

found my feelings
locked in a box
believe it if you dare
the key was a handful of j-rock songs

thanks, sister fox